Who divided our families?
Many believe that the divisions in our families were created by politicians and the media. That is the standard reply. There is a lot of truth to this, but they are also other reasons.
Ten years ago, members of our families kept much closer to one another. Different generations understood each other better, it was easier to talk at the family table, and differences of opinion were not so visible. Even when a contentious subject emerged, it was quickly dealt with or turned into a joke; life continued as normal. And our family members were less prone to losing their temper than today - there were more relaxed, less on edge. People also used to be more patient towards one another. What happened? What is it that has made our families more divided today?
How politics divided us
Politics has always been a major topic in Poland, but in the past, it did not penetrate families with such force. Although Poles did in fact watch a lot of TV, they were more interested in TV-series and entertainment programmes. But then news channels emerged, and politics became another TV-series with A-list actors, Polish affairs, unexpected plot twists - instead of popular TV-series, people started watching parliamentary debates. Although the series had no seasons, it offered a rush of emotions, unfortunately negative ones.
Politicians want to win elections, and fuelling divisions is the easiest way to rally supporters and ensure they stay loyal. To be clear – everyone does it, right or left. They discuss plans of their political opponents to scare people, insult their supporters, use the polarity of we-they, demonise their rivals – this has become the new norm. If you think that „your" politician is different, then look at his slogans through the eyes of a member of the opposing camp. You will feel like an alien, a different, separate entity. And that is what it’s all about.
The more you feel alienated, the more cohesive and united the group that forms the opposing camp is. And the more members of the opposing camp feel different, the more united your group is. This is how the in-group and out-group mechanism works - the deeper the ditch, the greater the sense of unity and understanding for member of you own camp. Why is it so important to politicians? Because like-minded people are easier to manage. There are fewer interests to reconcile, and it is easier to keep them loyal.
Identity as a weapon
The fault lines that politicians create split Polish families. If someone presents himself as a defender of modernity, and someone else acts as a guardian of tradition, they turn older and younger generations against each other. If one advocates entrepreneurship and another advocates social assistance, it sets a business owner and old-age pensioner against each other. In our families, different groups are mixed, and we don't want anyone to divide us. But politics does just that.
Politicians use two weapons to create divisions: identity and anger. Identity is our own declaration of who we feel. For example: I'm Polish, I'm a liberal, I'm a Catholic, I’m a Lech Poznań supporter. Others typecast us - we are proud to display our identities. We have always had them, often several at a time, but back then, they weren't as important as they are today. Conservatives and liberals lived in harmony in one family, and Catholics could get along with atheists. What changed?
About a decade ago, politicians started addressing us personally – speaking to our identities. „Business owners, vote for me and I'll ensure your taxes are low”; „Dear Catholics, choose me, and I will bring back the protection of unborn children." Politics has ceased to be boring and bureaucratic, it has moved closer to human affairs, it has become more personal. But it did not stop there: as politicians hijacked our identities, they started playing with our emotions.
What a daily dose of anger does to us
The second weapon of today's politics is anger. It is a strong feeling caused by injustice or inappropriate behaviour. In the past, anger was reserved for high-calibre matters: acts of terror, war, major scandals. Today, we are treated with a daily dose of anger that seems to permeate everything around us: decisions, statements, other people, even their gestures and fashion choices. We can see politicians, experts, journalists speak angrily on TV. But that list is far from being exhausted.
Today, anger seems to be present nearly everywhere. We hear our neighbour shout in a local shop, a car driver mouths expletives at a busy intersection, a friend mocks a colleague at work, our brother-in-law lectures us about Grandpa’s birthday. Psychologists say that this is an example of emotional ventilation, we give vent to (mainly) our anger. Politicians have shown us that it is possible, so everyone feels that they have the right to do so. It is indeed true we have that right. Only such constant outbursts of anger have their consequences: we are increasingly tired and the space for conversation evaporates.
In politics, it is visible at first glance: instead of seeking common ground, we witness a struggle of group identities. Patriots take on pro-European groups, democratic forces take on those who would like Poland to be ruled with a strong hand, modernists take on traditionalists - there are many groups, but there can only be one winner. Likewise, our families also clash – the only exception being that we, surrounded by the people we love, cannot afford to destroy the „opposing camp." As a result, we typically declare a truce. But with such deep-running fault lines, holding that truce can be exhausting.
