Dialogues:
How do they work?

A dialogue is a format of conversation that allows individuals to exchange on socially important and contentious topics in a calm and respectful manner.

During a dialogue, people holding different views, values or perspectives meet to better understand each other – not to convince one another. Dialogues provide a space for active listening to others, reflecting on one's own beliefs and examining the underlying needs and values.

The goal of a dialogue is to enhance mutual understanding among participants. This is made possible through a trustful atmosphere held by facilitators, enabling participants to share their perspectives, personal experiences, and emotions related to the topic – without engaging in a debate. Dialogues offer an opportunity to understand what lies beneath general terms (such as family, patriotism, security), how different individuals perceive them, and what shapes these perceptions.

So how does this work?

A dialogue follows a sinusoidal dynamic. Several tension points typically arise, which, if the dialogue is successful, become breakthrough moments (community moments). At the beginning of a dialogue participants display uncertainty, are fearful of the unknown people they are meeting and concerned about the risk of a heated exchange of arguments as seen in television debates or recalled from family experiences. They often try to identify and categorize others: Who is who? Whom do they vote for? Is he one of “us” or “them”? 

Behavioral patterns typical of debates are instinctively activated: impatient listening, searching for counterarguments, readiness to attack and defense. However, in a dialogue, these behaviors prove to be unhelpful and gradually diminish, leading to a sense of calm. As hostility and defensiveness recede, curiosity and sympathy emerge. Individuals may test this new situation several times before trusting it. Tension points are particularly important, as they often serve as breakthrough moments that deescalate and build a sense of community.

Types of breakthrough moments

1. Someone reveals themselves personally, authentically, and emotionally.

Effect: This allows seeing the opponent as a fellow human being. In psychological terms this process is called de-categorization.

2. Someone is listened to instead of being attacked when expressing a controversial opinion.

Effect: This turns off the defensive attitude, there's no need to defend one's views.

3. Someone says something surprising within their own bubble.

Effect: This allows seeing complexity where something seemed simple or black-and-white. It triggers critical thinking.

4. Someone notices a similarity between themselves and someone with different views.

Effect: This allows recognizing similarities despite differences. The “we” category emerges. In psychological terms this is called re-categorization.

5. Someone spontaneously asks a person with different views a curiosity-driven question.

Effect: This shapes new behavior patterns towards individuals from another bubble - openness to differences instead of competition.

6. Someone spontaneously expresses gratitude to a person with different views.

Effect: This builds trust, sympathy, and a sense of connection. Participants feel the warm glow, fostering a sense of community.

All of this makes a dialogue an experience of positive contact with individuals from different bubbles and works to depolarize perspectives.